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Child on Parent Violence

  • Child to parent violence (CPV) is any behaviour used by a young person to control, dominate or coerce parents. It is intended to threaten and intimidate and puts family safety at risk.

  • Whilst it is normal for adolescents to demonstrate healthy anger, conflict and frustration during their transition from childhood to adulthood, anger should not be confused with violence. Violence is about a range of behaviours including non-physical acts aimed at achieving ongoing control over another person by instilling fear.

  • Most abused parents have difficulty admitting even to themselves that their child is abusive. They feel ashamed, disappointed and humiliated and blame themselves for the situation, which has led to this imbalance of power. There is also an element of denial where parents convince themselves that their son or daughter’s behaviour part of normal adolescent conduct

 

Abuse is broadly confined to four categories – verbal, emotional/psychological, physical and sexual.

Verbal abuse:

Yelling, screaming and swearing in an abusive manner, Making intimidating comments

 

Emotional/Psychological abuse:

Playing mind games– being intimidating to family members, running away, hurting themselves or telling lies to control parents or the household

 

Physical abuse:

Pushing, Hitting, Kicking, Throwing objects around the house, Breaking family property, Hurting family pets

 

Sexual Abuse:

If a young person is experiencing sexual abuse or is involved in sexual violence, then they would need to be referred to the appropriate sexual violence agency. https://www.healthysurrey.org.uk/domestic-abuse/help/rape-and-sexual-abuse-support

 

Non Violent Resistance Approach (NVR)

 

  • NVR is an approach that draws inspiration from those who have sought to bring about changes in society in a non-violent manner. Famous examples include Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks

  • Tools introduce the principles of "connection before correction". As parents gain greater confidence and self-control, this enables difficult issues to be addressed in an effective manner through a process of increasing parental presence.

  • Tools include:- Raising Parental Presence, The Announcement, Baskets, Sit-in, Rebuilding the Relationship, Looking After Self

  • http://oxleas.nhs.uk/advice-and-guidance/children-and-young-peoples-services/nvr/

 

Other helpful websites:-

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